Microscopic Truth

Many years ago I got from a book the most fascinating concept - microscopic truth. It came from a book by Gay and Kathleen Hendricks and it was meant to describe a way of talking. The main principle of microscopic truth is speaking so that it can't be refuted.

For example, you might say, "that person is a jerk." For all intents and purposes that person's behavior may make you want to make that assumption, but in reality, they may have a very good reason (or not) for acting the way they are acting and they may not feel they are a "jerk" at all. Refutable = not microscopic truth.

In an argument it's easy to say, "you hurt me," but that is refutable. To get to the microscopic truth, you just have to turn it around and look at what is not refutable. "I feel sad and hurt when I hear you say that." This is a statement that can't be argued.

When you start checking in on this level of truth, it changes the dynamics. Gay and Kathleen used this technique to work through disputes between spouses, partners and friends and it is very useful, because when you stay on the side of statements that cannot be refuted, you are speaking your truth, and creating a nurturing space for the person you are speaking with to speak theirs. Taken beyond the outside world (and following yesterday's blog) microscopic truth with yourself is a deep process of self-nurturing. Speaking from this level of truth, you can get to the core of your feelings, rather than act from the place of commotional, emotional reaction.

And that's what we want. To be constantly reacting, and reacting, and reacting is so exhausting, and it defies the deepest truths within ourselves...how we actually feel about things.

Life happens. We can respond in this way or that way, and this will always be our crowning power in life. Reaction is disempowering, responding is empowering; microscopic truth is a fabulous tool for navigating between reaction and response.

It takes a great deal of courage to look at how we feel and accept responsibility for our feelings, while keeping our feelings separate from the actions of others and it completely changes outcomes.

blessings.
- Darshan




© 2010 Darshan F jessop