Learning to Listen

Some people just talk too much, no ifs, ands or buts. And that's a fine thing - if someone wants to talk, they should talk. But if you want to have an interactive relationship, or a functional relationship of any kind with someone, there has to be time to listen too.

How can you hear someone else if you are talking? How can you feel someone else when you are talking? How can you respond to someone else if you are talking? It's simple - you can't! And again - if you want to live in complete isolation with no human contact - go right ahead, keep on talking, talking, talking; but as soon as you are thinking you do want human contact, that you want to nourish some kind of relationship, be it a friend relationship, a love relationship, a work relationship, then learning to listen is absolutely mandatory.

The problem with not listening is that we think we know everyone else better than they do themselves. We make assumptions, we live in the world of judgment, and we can get pretty darn busy with all that assuming and judging. So busy, in fact, that we neglect to see the real person in front of us. All we can see is an illusion we have created with our own endless stream of words.

Learning to listen is like bowing to the Universe, and acknowledging that perhaps, just perhaps, there might be something we don't know. Listening is a willingness to see outside our own perspective, and to feel outside our own feelings. It is the only opportunity we have to experience genuine, deep, intimate connection with our fellow human beings. It is, above all, to honor the beauty, the uniqueness, the specialness of each person, to step away from our own overpowering egos and acknowledge what else is out there.

Today, give yourself the opportunity to connect deeply with others by practicing the art of listening. Sometimes you will find you can even forego that "I gotta answer in kind" energy, and simply acknowledge what you've heard. It is a level of human interaction so precious, it will fill your heart with joy.

Blessings.
- Darshan

© 2009 Darshan F Jessop