Know When to Walk Away, Know When to Run

There's that famous song, and though it talks about gambling, there is also a lesson in it for the rest of life as well. Our participation in life, in situations we choose or don't choose, those are all a kind of "gamble" too, when you think about it, and it is certainly important to know when to walk away, know when to run, and know when things are good.

Here are some things I've learned:
1) If it hurts, run. You need to be questioning why you're in it. Love doesn't hurt.
2) If it's always about the other person, run. If there is no space for you to speak and be Who You Really Are, when it is always, always, always about another person's point of view, their feelings, their own reasoning, the real you is going to be suffocated, so run.
3) If you are in the state of mind that you are strong enough to make it work between you and someone else, run. You can only be responsible for yourself, you can't carry the other person, and even if you do manage, you won't be happy. You are strong enough to make you and your life work. Let go of the illusion of anything else.
4) When it feels good, it is not a giddy, gleeful feeling at all, it is peaceful, easy and it permeates the rest of your life. That's a good thing. Stick with it.
5) When it's the right thing, there are no questions, there is no doubt, you know. Trust your gut.
6) If things are challenging but both people are honestly working on the situation, agreeing on goals and doing their part, don't walk away. Stick it out. It's worth it.
7) Anytime someone is blaming you for something, be prepared to walk or run. People have to take responsibility for themselves and some can't. You are responsible for you and your happiness. They are responsible for themselves and their own happiness.

Life is too sweet to try to tough out the nasty stuff with people who point fingers, blame, and blatantly refuse to acknowledge your humanity. Don't waste your life trying to be the good guy in abusive relationships like this. And it doesn't matter if this is friendship or partnership or business or how the clerk at the store down the street treats you. Know when to walk away, know when run. And be grateful if you have found opportunities of goodness, kindness, honesty, love and greatness. Those are blessings to be counted.

Blessings.
- Darshan

© 2009 Darshan F Jessop