Behind the Whine

There really (truly) is a clear and defined difference between simply feeling something or whining about it. Recently, in a newsletter from A Complaint Free World.org, they described that difference like this:
If you are stating a fact without negative energy or intent, this is not a complaint. "It's hot" is a statement of fact. "It's so hot I can't stand it" is a complaint.

It's that simple. Any time we put something out into the world and it has our negative energy or intent attached to it, we are whining.

What we need to do when people are whining (ourselves included) is look behind it. What is really the issue at hand? What kind of attention is really needed in this situation. If it is a child whining, it is generally clear that some sort of attention is needed, but it's very often the same with adults. We hear the whine, but we don't supply what is needed because we are dealing with whining. But if you look at them (or yourself) when you are feeling the whine come on, try looking a little further to see what you are really needing in that moment.

We use the whine when we need support, an ear to listen to us, help, when we don't know what to do, or when we are simply too tired to do it. Life is strange today; we really are individuals trying to do every job in the tribe ourselves and life gets overwhelming under those circumstances. When it gets too much the whine comes up, but it doesn't help on it's own, it doesn't even relieve the situation. The whine is just a symptom of a deeper lying problem and it is actually a gift, because it brings to light that there is a problem that needs dealing with.

So - when you hear whining and your skin starts to crawl, take a deep breath, smile, stop what you are doing and take the time to find out what is underneath it. Maybe it is just a hug that's needed, maybe it is some downtime, maybe it is the need for time together. Whatever it is, it is very likely a short and simply remedy and it is much, much easier on the system than the whine.


Blessings and love!
- Darshan




© 2010 Darshan F Jessop