Dependability

What has happened to dependability? Dependability is a critical component of the interdependency and survival of a species - and we humans are no different. We have to know that we can depend upon each other and it is sadly lacking in today's socieety.

Today people say they will and they don't, they say they do and they won't, promises don't seem to be the same as they used to be. If we were dependable, we wouldn't need lawsuits, if we were dependable we wouldn't need divorce court, because if we were dependable we wouldn't make promises we wouldn't be keeping. The root of this epidemic of non-dependability lies in this last part - that we say things or make promises that we don't mean to keep.

Part of taking responsibility is thinking through the consequences and recognizing whether the challenge we stand before is something we can really follow through on - or not. It is not the answer to that question for which we are judged and yet we seem to fear that even more than our actions. Rather, it is stronger and empathetically more honest to say yes or no at the start, before agreeing to something and delving into it, only to abandon it shortly thereafter.

We are responsible for the outcome and our actions are always going to speak louder than our words. If we are really worried about being judged for something, then we should be worried about being judged on the action part. Saying yes, and then not doing something is far, far worse, than saying no and not doing it.

It's important to look at the decisions we make everyday in life and learn to say yes or no from the place that bespeaks truth of ourselves and dependability. Anything less is wishy washy and wishy washy is not strong character trait for survival. It wreaks of indecision and ineptness that can be life threatening in the wrong situations. I invite you to look at the things that are asked of you in terms of commitment, reliability and dependability. Slowly begin the process of evaluation by asking yourself these questions:

1) Would I be being more true to myself if I were to say no?
2) If I say yes, do I mean yes forever?
3) Does forever have a limit for me? (i.e. 1 year, 10 years, etc)
4) Are any of my dealbreakers (spoken or unspoken) being infringed upon?
5) What would be the consequences of not keeping up once I've committed?

Once you have learned to evaluate circumstances and extending them out as far into the future as you can evaluate, come up with an answer that is really in alignment with forever. If forever has a time limit - say no. If your truth is not resonating with you, say no. If there are if's or but's, say no. If there is not lasting and sustainable energy for a forever yes, say no. It's ok. It makes you more dependable and dependability is a critical factor in human spirit. It makes you reliable and trustworthy. It makes you a good friend, not only to yourself, but also to others.

Blessings.
- Darshan

© 2009 Darshan F Jessop