Forget the chocolate roses...

Forget the chocolate roses, forget candy and flowers altogether, what we need instead is intimacy. And this is not only true for men and women, but friends, co-workers, children.

In today's world we placate with these novelties, as if a piece of chocolate could replace a friend listening to us, as if a toy could replace quality one-on-one time with our children, as if a fancy date out can replace the kind of communion that happens when two people are present with each other.

Forget the chocolate roses. We've been brainwashed by a society that is led by greedmongers posing as counseling sessions. No - a card is not going to make a relationship work. No, a box of chocolates is not going to mean anything other than a box of fat, white sugar and artificial flavor that will assuredly cost pounds on the scale. No, no, no.

Forget the chocolates. If you want a meaningful relationship in any facet of your life, the qualities of intimacy are what make it that way.

Listening - intimacy requires presence so that when a person is speaking you can hear them, openly, without judgment, and without all the chatter in your own brain waiting for your opportunity to jumpin.

Empathy - intimacy is an empathic condition. You are with someone and you feel with them. Doesn't mean you agree, doesn't mean anything expect that you can feel their humanness in whatever it is they are dealing with.

Compassion - intimacy means you stand without judgment against the person you are with. You recognize that you are the other person, the ultimate stance of compassion.

Forget the chocolate roses. There is hardly anyone in the world that would pass up you being perfectly present with them for a box of chocolate, or a card that someone else wrote. Romantic is as romantic does - and there is nothing more romantic than you being you, perfectly present with another person.

Blessings.
- Darshan



© 2010 Darshan F jessop