Practicing Validation

If you haven't seen the video short "Validation," you should definitely check it out. It touches on the most basic human need - the need for validation, the need to be appreciated. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Cbk980jV7Ao)

Validation is something that needs to be praticed. We need to take time out from whatever we are doing and appreciate, validate, what others around us are doing. "Thank you" is a great start, but "Thank you, it was so nice of you to take on that job, it really saved me alot of time this morning, and you did a great job of it!" definitely touches a person more.

We NEED validation, we need it. Not only should it be on our to-do list each and every day to spend 1-3 minutes validating ourselves, but we should have it built in to every single time schedule to ensure that we are giving each other 1-5 minutes of validation every day as well.

It takes practice. You atually have to think about things to say, in the form appreciation that go beyond, "great job" and "thanks for doing that." What were the characteristics of the great job that made it great? What was the motivation of someone doing something for you that you appreciate? What are the details of what another person did to win your respect, your regard and/or your appreciation?

And at first, when you're practicing, it will feel unwieldy. Ours are not societies bent on telling us what great people we are. Everything is about rules and regulations, and what you did wrong. But if you practice validation a little everyday, it will become easier and easier. If you are really uncertain about, try asking a friend to practice it with you. Agree to exchange expressions of validation and appreciation - one minute each - every day until it becomes not only comfortable but natural and you can carry it out to every facet of your life.

Everyone needs it; even the most grumpy, the most cheerful, the most distant, the most unkind person you know or can imagine - they all need the same validation you do.

So - today, you are invited to practice validation. Try it on yourself, your spouse/partner, your children, your colleagues, the gas station attendant, whomever you come across and watch how it changes the world around you and far beyond.

Blessings.
- Darshan

© 2009 Darshan F Jessop