The Epitome of Pathology

At the root, the very epitome of pathology, lies our fear, primarily our fear of pain, but fear. It is the repressed, depressed, sunken down, hidden part of ourselves that terrifies and petrifies us. It's the part we don't share when we get to know someone. It lies at some deep and remote place inside, like the gut or something equally as unreachable.

That remote place is like a dungeon; a dungeon without steps out, so all that fear just boils and bubbles and stickes up the insides. Occasionally bubbles will pop up high, as if striving for the light of day, but we swallow them back down. But really - all space needs light. This fear that lies deep within us is only seeking a pathway to the light so it can dissipate.

That's what happens. When you bring fear of pain up, it has no choice but to travel through the heart and once it comes out, it disspiates, much like the foggy bathroom clears when the fresh air comes in. Sweet release, sweet freedom, it is gone!

The irony is that we spend our lives holding it down and keeping it from the light, because we are afraid of it. We spend our lives doing everything we can to not let our fears see the light of day, because we are afraid if they come out we will feel pain. It's such a painful irony, too, when you consider how much incredible effort of mind, body and spirit it takes to hold it down. This is what creates pathology in us, this is what makes us ill, this is dis-ease. Our minds can't think straight, our spirits become depleted, and, finally, our bodies, in a last ditch effort to bring our attention to the pain of holding in something that is clearly toxic, starts giving visible and audible warning signals.

Often it is situations where some part of us "gives up," when some of that fear slips out, sees the light and disappears. We breathe more deeply, with a sigh of relief, we feel more healthy, we get through something...but then we forget to persist.

There is no hope for it, but to bring it out. No amount of hiding works because then, in an unguarded moment, in a situation where you feel safe and comfortable, it'll start gurgling up, trying to make its way out at last. Then that safe and beautiful thing becomes tainted with terrible fear and has no choice but to be destroyed by it.

So let it out. Build the steps from the dungeon to the heart and bring it to the light. Cry if you need to, write out your anger, talk out your anguish, but bring it out, because that is the only way to let it go.

Blessings.
- Darshan

© 2008 Darshan F Jessop